


a miracle ruined

by GhostlyGay



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Feelings, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:53:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24033082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostlyGay/pseuds/GhostlyGay
Summary: tim has emotions, but isn’t good at handling them, especially when they involve martin
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Tim Stoker
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	a miracle ruined

Tim was never good with emotions. He got angry, he got sad, he got anxious, just like other people, but he didn’t /know/ what to do with these emotions. He always found himself bottling them up or pushing them aside, replacing them with smiles and laughter. 

Nobody ever noticed, nobody ever really cared what he was feelings. It was always ‘oh there’s Tim, off to seduce another cop’ or ‘he’s such a flirt it’s no wonder he’s still single’. Tim Stoker, always the butt of the joke.

He never told anyone how he felt about all of this, obviously. Tim felt too bad to stand up for himself. These people were his friends, his coworkers, and he didn’t want to make things awkward by bringing it up. So he put on a smile and gave them a wink whenever they made jokes about him, always hiding the way they ate at him.

Then, by miracle, Martin came along. Martin Blackwood, who spoke in such a soft voice, who always offered him a real, genuine smile. Martin who never made jokes about him, who always found a way to make him feel better, even if the new assistant didn’t know it yet. 

Tim and Martin became fast friends. This wasn’t surprising, as both spent a lot of time at work, and a lot of time researching together. They had a balance- Martin would keep the pair motivated and optimistic, and Tim would crack jokes and set the limits for how late they worked. Without Tim, Martin would work all night and without Martin, Tim wouldn’t work at all. They had an equilibrium that surprised both of them, the way they just fell into this pattern without notice.

Tim could feel himself falling for Martin, could feel his heart quicken when the latter walked in the room. At first, Tim thought it was just the same attraction that made him the joke of the Institute, but as the days went on and they spent more time laughing together, he began to realize that it was more than that. He’d recognized on day one that Martin was attractive, there’s no doubt about that. The man was a 10, and he didn’t even realize it. It was another thing Tim liked about him, the way he could have gotten anything he wanted but instead chose to help others before himself. Martin Blackwood, the selfless man.

Tim knew he was falling for him, but didn’t act on it, didn’t think he could act on it. Martin was an angel, and Tim was a wreck. Martin helped people in ways that actually mattered, Tim helped the Institute by fucking his way to information. Martin was so very far out of Tim’s league, something everyone at the Jnstitute seemed aware of. Everyone besides Martin. 

Which is why it was so surprising when Tim found himself waking up in a foreign bed with arms wrapped firmly around him.

It was the day after the Institute’s Christmas Party. They’d all gone out for drinks to celebrate the holiday, and even though Tim was Jewish, he went anyway. (He’d never admit it to anyone, but he wanted to spend more time with Martin, outside of work). So, Tim has gone along and was drinking apart from the others when Martin sat next to him. The pair talked for a while, about anything and everything that wasn’t work. They talked about TV, food, books, as long as the topic wasn’t their coworkers or the supernatural, it was fair game.  
The party dwindled after a while, until Martin and Tim were two of the only people left. At this point, Tim was fairly tipsy, which Martin recognized. Wanting to make sure he was okay, Martin offered for Tim to spend the night since “my flat’s only a few blocks away, and I don’t want you passing out in the cold.” Tim agreed, though the only rational part left in his brain was urging the opposite. 

Tim didn’t remember much of the rest of the night, but as he lay there in bed, a strong arm wrapped around his stomach, the realization slowly crept in. The memory of warmth, and tongues, and someone’s gentle hands on his body knocked all his grogginess away. He shut his eyes, praying to anyone who would listen, that what he thought had happened wasn’t the case. He was wrong. 

Tim tried to slip out from the grasp around his middle, which ended up with him falling flat on the floor. The other body in the bed groaned slightly, before sitting up. Tim wished that he could have thought about anything other than the fact that Martin looked so hot with his messy curls and shirtless chest. 

Martin, on his part, didn’t look too surprised to see a naked Tim sitting on his floor. In fact, with sleepiness still in his voice, he offered a little “good morning, Tim.”

Words were flying through Tim’s brain, but his mouth couldn’t form them into sentences. He sat there, staring at the man he was crushing on, knowing that they had slept together just the night before. Any confidence or bravado that Tim usually had was gone, and all he could do was mutter a little “mornin’” in response. 

Martin began to get up, and Tim had to will himself to look around for his clothes. To look anywhere that wasn’t Martin. He did a pretty good job, or so he thought, until he began reaching for his discarded boxers and glanced up to see Martin also getting dressed, with red scratches down his back. Tim froze, trying to get his brain and mouth to work together. 

“Did... did I... Martin, are those from-“

Martin turned to him, amused. “Yes, Tim, that was you. You don’t remember? You kept apologizing for hurting me, no matter how many times I told you it was fine.”

Tim’s soul left his body as his brain drudged a foggy memory of his hands clawing at Martin’s back, then a string of moaned apologies afterwards. 

“Are you alright?” Martin’s voice was soft, concerned now as he saw the look on Tim’s face. “Are you... not okay with what happened last night?”

For a moment, Tim could do nothing but look back at Martin, his eyes roaming over the other’s face. “I- I have to go.”

Tim regretted it the moment the door closed behind him. He’d hurriedly gotten his pants on as he’d headed to the front of Martin’s flat,trying hard to forget the hurt look on Martin’s face as he did so. He walked home, shivering in the cold as he’d left his jacket and shoes behind in his haste.   
He couldn’t believe himself. He’d finally gotten something he’d wanted, something good for him, and he’d thrown it away because of what? Because he was scared. Because he felt like nobody could ever see him as anything other than a joke. Because he didn’t think he deserved love or happiness after everything he’d been through.

Tim ignored Martin’s texts the rest of the weekend. He called in sick on Monday, then did everything he could to avoid Martin the rest of the week. He felt bad, so bad, but he didn’t know how to face him after that. Their coworkers didn’t seem to know, which was a relief. A few comments were made towards Tim because of the hickey displayed so prominently on his jawline, but nobody pushed for details. It was a normal thing for Tim to have, wasn’t it? 

Not long after, a new Head Archivist was appointed, and Tim saw any possible future with Martin crumble before his eyes. From the first meeting, he could see how much Martin loved Jon. He could see that this was something that had been growing over time, since both had worked in Research, probably. Tim couldn’t get in the way of that. He couldn’t try to get between Martin, who cared so much, and Jon, even if he was rather rude to Martin. Tim could see that doing anything would only hurt Martin, which was something he never, ever, wanted to do again. 

Eventually, things went back to normal. Tim could be in the same room as Martin without feeling ashamed of how he acted, and Martin didn’t mention it. The crew fell back in to place, with the new addition of Jon to oversee everything. No more late nights spend researching with Martin, or jokes cracked about their boss’s personal life. They kept working. Martin, whose kindness never wavered, and Tim, who never quite stopped loving him.

**Author's Note:**

> please forgive poor grammar and spelling mistakes, i’m writing this at nearly midnight after very little sleep
> 
> also shoutout to my boyfriend for indulging my martim feels and my intense love for timothy stoker 
> 
> follow me on insta: @ghostlygay.cosplay


End file.
